Carn Mo'r Read online

  ‘That is very reassuring.’ Both my companions nodded in agreement.

  When we arrived home, Robyn seemed to be avoiding us. At suppertime I offered her another drink of CarnMo’r, but she refused, blushing brightly. John and the Doctor had their heads together so I took myself off to the study. My first visitor was the Doctor. He wanted permission to use the phone to call a friend in London. I told him he could use it any time he liked.

  It was a good hour before Robyn appeared with a steaming pot of coffee on a tray, ‘Connie says you normally like a cup of coffee at this time of night. She’s busy with little John so I brought it for you.’

  ‘That was very good of you. Thank you very much.’

  She fidgeted nervously. ‘I’m sorry about last night. I made a fool of myself.’

  I was grinning shamelessly at her discomfort. ‘I did try and warn you.’

  ‘I should have listened. I am truly sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be, you aren’t the first to fall foul of our devil’s brew and you certainly won’t be the last. Besides, I’d far rather carry you up the stairs than a fifteen stone professor.’

  Her colour deepened but a small smile crept into her face. ‘Really?’

  ‘Any day.’

  She peered over the ledgers I was working on. ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Balancing the books.’

  ‘Oh nice! We’re all going to have a little sing song later; do you want to come along?’

  ‘I can’t, the banker arrives on Monday so I have to get these finished.’ She looked a little lost so I tried to explain. ‘I told you about our little cottage industry didn’t I?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well at the beginning of every month we ship out all the orders. Everything comes through here. A big postal truck comes and collects it all. The monies due are paid into the estate bank account. I have the pleasure of sorting it all out.’

  ‘Why the estate’s bank account?’

  ‘Because I can order in bulk and get things cheaper than the individual. So at the end of the month I have to sort out who got what, where and when, how much they are due me and how much I’m due them. Then the banker comes the first Monday of every month and pays them from the estate’s account.’

  She rolled her eyes. ‘I think I’m getting it.’

  I laughed. ‘It’s actually quite simple. Look.’

  She came round and peered over my shoulder. A firm breast brushed against my arm and I almost choked.

  ‘This is Mrs. Fox’s account, and don’t tell her you’ve seen this,’ I warned.

  ‘I won’t.’

  ‘Ok, last month she sent off two tweed suits. That made her fifty pounds.’

  ‘Not bad.’

  ‘Yes but she still has costs. There’s the shipping of the said goods, the price of dyes she had to buy in. There’s the wool itself which goes to another member of the Glen, and a number of patterns. This column is how much she owes me because I pay for everything originally. This is how much she’s earned, this one’s tax etc, subtract them and Bob’s your uncle, this is what she’s left with.’

  ‘That’s still quite a bit, Alasdair.’

  ‘Yes but she won’t withdraw it all on Monday. Most of it goes into savings. Once a week we bus anyone who wants to go into Aberlour. From there they can get a bus into Elgin. Once in Elgin they can easily get to Aberdeen or Inverness, Glasgow, Edinburgh, London, the world if they want.’

  She was smiling. ‘I never realised. I just thought you spent your days shooting and fishing.’

  ‘Or lolling about?’

  ‘Well … … to be honest, yes.’

  I laughed. ‘Even shooting and fishing brings in some revenue. Our leather goods are highly sought after in the right circles.’

  ‘Why am I getting the impression there’s a taxidermist in the Glen?’

  ‘There certainly is, and we’re in just the right place for one, don’t you think?’

  She laughed. ‘This is simply fascinating. Would you like a hand?’

  ‘Actually there’s very little you could do.’

  ‘I’m very good with figures.’

  ‘As much as that would be appreciated, I’m afraid I'm the only one who knows who’s who, and who bought what and when, you understand?’

  ‘Yes, a lifetime of knowledge.’

  I smiled. ‘Aye that’s right.’

  ‘I’d better let you get on with it then.’

  ‘Ok.’ I felt a deep sense of loss as she left. Even my coffee seemed strangely bitter that night.

  Chapter 19

  Saturday at last, tonight I would be able to hold her in my arms, smell her sweet scent and see the glow in her eyes, but there was something concerning me greatly. I found the Doctor on the phone again. He’d spent great lengths of time on it lately. I wondered about for a bit before he’d finished.

  I managed to engage him in idle conversation for a while before broaching the subject upper most in my mind.

  ‘Tell me a little about American protocol, Doctor.’

  ‘I’m sorry Alasdair, I don’t understand.’

  ‘Umm, for the dance tonight, do we have to ask your permission before asking Robyn for a dance? I know in some places it’s improper to ask a young lady to dance if she’s engaged or has a beau.’

  I must admit it sounded pretty lame even to me but the Doctor was very understanding and played the game, even though he could see right through me and was more than amused.

  ‘We are Americans Alasdair. Even if she did have a beau or was engaged, which I can assure you she isn’t; it would be entirely up to her who she danced with. As a matter of fact Robyn has only ever had one beau that I’m aware of. They were childhood sweethearts. He left to join the Marines when she was 16 and never returned, being killed in the Pacific in 1945.’

  ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’

  ‘It is sad, but so many were lost as you well know. Soon afterwards her mother took seriously ill. Robyn stayed at home to nurse her. She was devoted. As far as I know she’s never even seen another man.’

  ‘Thank you for that Doctor.’

  I beat a hasty retreat, elated. My mind also toyed with a few interesting theories.

  I met John in the practice room. He was stripped to the waist swinging his claymore above his head.

  ‘My, John, you do look fearsome this fine day,’ I laughed.

  Grinning he reached for the other sword. ‘Let’s see how long you keep that smile on your face.’

  I shrugged my shirt off and deftly caught the tossed sword. He gave me no room for pause. We were both evenly matched even though I was the taller. He came in with a cry that shook the rafters. Our swords clashed, ringing with rage at this brutal assault. We surged back and forth across the floor laughing and cursing. Sweat soon lathered our muscular physiques.

  A scream stopped our battle dead. I just managed to avoid a lunge from John and turned to find Robyn standing in the doorway. My good mood evaporated. Her horror-filled eyes were fixed on my back.

  Anger, bitterness, resentment swept through me. I had become so used to it and so had those who surrounded me, I’d never given a second thought to revealing the permanent disfigurement that was my back.

  I handed my sword to John, picked up my shirt and left. I wanted to hide, I had to, but even that magic circle of stones couldn’t work their strange comfort this day. How could I have been so stupid to believe that any woman but a paid whore could even bear to look upon my naked form?

  Even Kitty had been sick the first time she had cast eyes upon me after the war. My skin had done a lot of healing since then, but it was still discoloured in places and scar tissue ran across it like weal’s from a whip. John found me.

  ‘You can’t stay out here all day Alasdair.’

  ‘Why now John, why does it matter so much to me now?’ But he had more an answer to the question than I. We walked back home slowly, each deep in our own thoughts. Robyn found me back in my study.

  �
��I’m sorry for screaming. I thought you were really fighting. I could have caused one of you an injury’

  I saw the lie for what it was. ‘Let’s not pretend Robyn; it’s not something you’re good at. I’m sorry you saw it and that it disturbed you so. It’s something I’ve had to come to terms with and the people I live with. I’m not ashamed of the wounds I received during the war, neither am I proud of them, but I don’t hide them.

  Nor am I the only man who’s scarred here. I’ll warn you of that now because you will meet some of those today. In some ways we consider ourselves quite lucky. We still have something to fight for and to conquer. There are those who bare no physical scars but are tormented far more than I.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I really am.’

  ‘Don’t be, I’m not.’

  ‘Still it’s only your back, I mean your face and front are still … …’ her voice trailed off.

  I stood and looked her straight in the eyes. ‘I can’t remember any tales of woman holding a man by the face when he was making love to her Robyn.’

  I’m sure tears sprang to her eyes. I left her there and retreated to my room. I sat in the widow and stared at the mountain that was mine. Or did I belong to it? For it would be here long after I was buried on its lower slopes.

  Slowly the old castle seemed to come alive. Small noises filtered up through the stonework. Someone tuned in a set of pipes. I loved the pipes. I’d danced, marched and fought to their harrowing airs.

  At length I went back down. Men and women in their Highland best milled around, children ran screaming through the hallways. It cheered me up. Many of the people bore parcels for the post van. Outside horses stamped and neighed.

  My eyes fell upon Mrs. Fox. I beamed with delight and went to greet her.

  ‘Mrs. Fox, how are you?’

  Her eyes lit up. ‘Sir Alasdair, how are you?’

  Mrs. Fox must have been in her fifties but she had the complexion and figure of a thirty year old. I took her hand and kissed the back of it, ‘Mrs. Fox you look as ravishing as always.’

  She pinched my cheek, ‘and you are such a handsome fellow Alasdair Sinclair, if I were only twenty years younger.’

  ‘Who said I cared?’

  ‘You are a terrible flirt Alasdair.’

  I burst out laughing, ‘and so are you Mary.’

  She produced a parcel. ‘Could you send this away for me?’

  ‘I certainly could.’ I checked the address, Professor Milligan, University of Dublin, ‘you finished his tweeds.’

  ‘Yes, such a nice man.’

  I grinned wickedly. ‘He was fair taken with you.’

  ‘He was too short for my taste.’

  We both laughed. He had been fair smitten with Mary, a widow by the time she was 25.

  ‘Tell me Alasdair, is this Doctor the man who saved my Gavin’s leg?’

  ‘I believe it is. Where is Gavin?’

  ‘I sent word, he’ll be here.’

  ‘I’ll look forward to seeing him again. Rumour has it he’s been busy making babies again.’

  She beamed, ‘a wee girl, Alison. He would like to talk to you about something when he gets here if you have the time.’

  ‘I’ll always have the time for Gavin.’

  ‘You’re such a … ohh!’

  I turned to find Robyn standing at the bottom of the stairs. She had already changed for the Ceilidh and wore a long black flowing dress that hugged her figure. Low cut and with jewellery that only enhanced her natural beauty.

  ‘Who is she Alasdair?’ Mary gasped.

  ‘Robyn, come and meet Mrs. Fox.’

  Her smile lit up the day, ‘the lady who makes all those wonderful tweeds?’

  ‘That’s right. Mrs. Fox, Robyn Colwin, the Doctor’s daughter.’

  They took to one another right away. It wasn’t long before the Doctor blundered out of the library with book a still in hand. ‘Ah Alasdair, Robyn I ah …’

  I saw Mary's chin lift. She seemed to grow almost an inch.

  ‘Yes Doctor?’ I prompted.

  ‘I ahem, seem to have forgotten what it was I was going to ask.’

  ‘I see.’ Mary squeezed my arm. ‘Doctor Colwin, Mrs. Fox.’

  She offered her hand and he took it, ‘I’m charmed Mrs. Fox.’

  ‘Mary Doctor, please.’

  ‘Mary…’ the name seemed to roll of his tongue.

  ‘I believe you operated on my son Gavin, Doctor. I would just like to thank you personally.’

  ‘Did I? There’s really no need to thank me. It was my job after all.’ His brow wrinkled in thought, ‘Gavin, Gavin Fox. Ah yes, a handsome young man, quite tall, dark hair. Multiple machine gun wounds to the legs and his lower back.’

  Mary flushed, ‘Yes that was Gavin. I’m surprised you remember.’

  ‘I remember Gavin well, a very courageous young man.’

  She swelled with pride. I decided it was time to make a discreet exit.

  I went and placed Mary’s parcel with the rest and began checking through them. The Doctor burst through a little later. ‘Alasdair, may I ask you something?’ The words seemed to stick in his throat.

  I took sympathy on him. ‘Mrs Fox has been a widow since she was 25. She never remarried; neither does she have a partner that I’m aware of.’

  He retreated mumbling his thanks, no doubt embarrassed by his transparency.

  Chapter 20

  Earlier in the day, Connie had found Robyn in her room. ‘Robyn, where have you been?’ Then she saw the tears streaming down her face, ‘oh no, not again.’ Robyn simply nodded. ‘What did he do this time?’

  Robyn sniffed. ‘I tried to apologies, but he wouldn’t accept it.’

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I tried to tell him that I got a fright at their swordplay.’

  ‘He didn’t believe you?’

  Robyn shook her head. ‘No he told me I wasn’t a very good liar.’

  ‘Well that’s true.’

  Robyn smiled weakly, ‘then he gave me a little lecture about how he wasn’t the only person here scarred and that’s when I really screwed things up.’ She took a deep breath, ‘I said it was only his back that was scarred and his face and front were all right.’

  Connie’s hands flew to her mouth in anticipation of what was coming.

  A tear squeezed out of Robyn’s eyes as she went on with her terrible tale, ‘he said a woman doesn’t hang onto a man’s face when he makes love to her.’

  ‘Oh he didn’t?’

  Robyn broke out into a flood of tears again. Connie clasped her to her bosom, ‘Whiesht now lass, don’t let the big buffoon get you down.’

  Robyn struggled upright, ‘but it’s so true, my God, how could I have been so stupid and thoughtless?’

  ‘You weren’t being stupid or thoughtless, Robyn, you were trying to spare his feelings.’

  ‘It was a mistake.’

  Connie sighed, ‘don’t blame yourself, its Alasdair we’re talking about here. You never just know how he’s going to react. It’s strange though, he normally never gives it a second thought these days.’

  ‘I should have known better, Connie. My father’s a surgeon. I've been with him many times on visits to the hospital. I have seen men so badly disfigured they refuse to go home and I never reacted to them the way I did with Alasdair. I just don’t know what's come over me.’

  Connie watched Robyn torture herself. She knew exactly what was wrong with Robyn, but what could she do about it and what could she do about Alasdair?

  ‘I think once Alasdair tastes the ribs you’ve prepared he’ll forgive you anything.’

  A sparkle returned to her eyes, ‘do you really think so?’

  Connie grinned. ‘Oh I know so.’

  Her face fell a little, ‘but what if he doesn’t and ignores me all night?’

  Connie’s heart skipped a beat. She realised Robyn had spoken from the heart, without thinking. She was in love with Alasdair even if she never realised it h
erself.

  What should she do, should she help this beautiful American woman or just let it go? But the look in her eyes melted Connie’s heart. ‘He’s your host and your father and you are his guests of honour. It would shame the whole Glen if he ignored you.’

  ‘It still doesn't mean he wants to talk to me, Connie.’

  ‘Robyn you’re a woman, make him want to talk to you.’

  She bit her lip, ‘how?’

  Connie stood up. ‘First let’s see what you’ve got in your wardrobe.’

  They went through Robyn’s wardrobe and between them crafted an assault on Alasdair Sinclair’s senses, the likes of which he had never felt before.

  Chapter 21

  The kitchen we normally dined in was John and Connie’s. The castle’s kitchen was a completely different affair. Built to cook for the whole Clan, it was hardly ever used, until that is, there was a Ceilidh.

  Now changed for the party myself I decided to investigate how things were progressing. It was full of busy women. Aprons were in full view covering their best clothes and each a masterpiece in their own right. The aromas were breath taking; meat roasted over three open fires, bread was being baked, cakes had appeared, plates of delicacies carefully arranged. The whole place buzzed with the voices of busy woman and children running errands.

  ‘Good afternoon ladies.’ The responses were a bit of a mixed bag. Connie, the only woman not dressed as yet, appeared at my side.

  ‘May I have a word with you Alasdair?’

  ‘Aye of course.’

  ‘In private.’

  There was no real private place in the whole castle at the moment but we found a relatively quite part of corridor.

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘It’s about Robyn.’

  I stiffened. ‘What about her?’

  ‘Twice today you’ve had her in tears. Can you try and be a wee bit more sensitive around the lass?’

  ‘Ok I’ll try and keep out of her way.’

  ‘Oh …’ Anger flashed in her eyes, ‘she doesn’t want you to avoid her you fool.’ I eyed a wooden spoon warily as it was waved under my nose. ‘You have absolutely no idea about women what so ever, have you Alasdair Sinclair?’ She stormed off leaving me clueless still. I decided it might be safer going outside and helping the men.